In search of outdoorsy skills

I was so excited to use some gift cards on a pair of Keen hiking shoes this year, it took me weeks to finally decide on the right ones… and I have yet to break them in. It is ridiculous, I have had them for a month! This weekend is the weekend, even if I have to go alone. Just me and a big walking stick… all alone. Does anyone feel sorry enough to become my hiking buddy? Anyone at all? Does pepper spray work on cougars?

I will be leaving for Montana in a week with Crazy Lady (mom) and Aunt Sassy for a family reunion. The Keens are going with me. We’ll be “camping out” near a lake outside Missoula. This will be my first time in Montana, supposedly Big Sky country, and I am pretty excited to see what the hype is about. Maybe this will be the summer I learn how to actually swim. Maybe some distant cousins will take pity on me and show me how to do more than a dead man’s float. Or I can continue being the only 27-year-old who would drown if thrown into the middle of a lake. *sigh* I should probably pack some arm floaties…

I partially blame Mr. Green for my lack of outdoorsy skills, but mostly my pre-teen self, who showed a complete lack of interest in mountain stuff, is at fault. I, unfortunately, obtained the label of being  forever uninterested, and now am scrambling to find someone, anyone, okay not anyone, who will show me how to work a gun properly, pitch a tent, or not look like an absolute fool in a body of water.

My life is a little sad.

When I was younger Mr. Green took us for a handful of camping trips, we went fishing and huckleberry picking with my grandpa, and then I hit the age of 12 and thought I was too cool for all that. I had better ways to spend my time, catching up on what boys my girlfriends were crushing on, conquering my unruly hair, and attempting to use eyeshadow for the first time. It was a terrible experience, and I fully regret my choice of green and blue cream shadow I sported for a year. *shudder* Mr. Green of course turned to Brother Serious who was much more interested in knives, guns, and arrows, and I was left in the dust. “See you after your teenage years daughter…”

When we went camping I did have fun. I can hear my family laughing… but it is the truth, I had fun! Minus the one time I almost rolled down a mountainside due to the inconvenience of my short legs. Oh, and the other time I refused to use mother nature as my restroom… and when I thought I was being hunted by a cougar. I chalk it up to learning experiences. Come on Mr. Green, give me one more chance!

I have met many people who assume upon first meeting me I have moved to this small town from a larger city. Perhaps my lack of cowgirl boots and camo confuse them? I suppose I am a fish out of water in the very town I grew up in when the mass majority of our population are outdoor aficionados. They ride horses, and hunt, and backpack, and rock climb, and raft, and I read books about all of that. The day will come when I will do all of those things… I can hear my family laughing again. I will hunt the pants off them and we will see who is laughing last.

I live in a beautiful area of the country, I am only a tad bias, and I want need to begin taking advantage of it. I love the mountains…

I’m just a girl, standing in front of a mountain, asking it to be kind to her.

Or something like that.

I am entirely serious here, I need to prove my worth as an Eastern Oregonian. So, if anyone out there would like to take my poor soul on as a project and teach me the ways of the woods, I would be forever grateful. I can read you a book as payment!














4 thoughts on “In search of outdoorsy skills

  1. Hahahahahahahahah why are you so CUTE??? Kenney already had you read his book so you paid it forward and I do hereby volunteer him to teach you outdoorsy skills. Sorry he’s already taken but at least we can prepare you to meet Mr Right in Your Own Back Woods man. We are in an absolute deluge at the moment and both are resting in bed after health issues but you are hereby officially invited to come hike with us SOON, ok? 541-437-9190 when we are at home out here by Sammyville, 5 miles out of Elgin. Or on the cell 541-786-9023 but it doesn’t usually work on the ranch except texts sometimes. Let’s just do this thing.

    Sent from Windows Mail

    1. I’m down! I will stow away your numbers and when you’re feeling up to it I’ll come running for your help and guidance! Haha! 🙂 Thanks!!

  2. I loved this! You are a great writer. Good luck with your adventures. (Speaking if books, gave you read Wild? She had some crazy firsts in the woods.)

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