Insert the worst title, ever!, here: by Katelyn

I am terrible with titles. I mean just real awful at it guys. Titles were always the last thing I would do for essays and stories in my writing classes. My rough drafts were called “Rough Draft No. 1” or “Rough Draft No. 1 Edited.” Original things like that. I would wait until the very last minute before they were due, pretty much clear up until I had to print the thing out, to slap a title on it. Most of the time they were random bits from the story, a phrase, a piece of dialogue, etc. Or they were really crummy ways of summing things up.

“Potato Salad,” by Katelyn

“The Devil Made Me Do It,” by Katelyn

“Stories Of Me,” by Katelyn

“A Mother’s Secret,” by Katelyn

“There Has To Be A Class For Titling Papers,” by Katelyn

Titles are so very important, they are what catch our attention right away. I’m in the midst of the book, “Asylum.” A book about a crazy person? Definitely going to read that one. I like the one-word titles, just throw out a word, keep it simple, everyone wins.

Dracula, Uglies, Beloved, Holes, Atonement, Watchmen, Beowulf, Jaws, Fool, etc., etc.

“Beowulf” the original Old English poem, not the Hollywood movie. Did you know that was written clear back in the 1730s? I have no reason for telling you that other than I think it’s pretty cool that it’s been around almost 300 years.

I’m pretty sure my professors scoffed at my titles, “She is hopeless. We cannot be expected to teach people such as this. I will need some herbal tea if I am expected to continue.” I mean who wants to read a story called Potato Salad? That was not one of my better days. For sure.

I was so envious of my classmates that could think up creative, appealing titles. I would have gladly given them $5 to think of one for me too. “Bribery Is Bad,” by Katelyn.

*Hangs head in embarrassment*

I’m not alone here though. Unfortunately for you and I, there are writers who are far worse at putting titles on their work than I am. I mean who is going to pick these books up and think, “Yeah buddy, I’m going read me some of this!”

Superfluous Hair and Its Removal, Suture Self, Every Savage Can Reproduce: Pride-and-Prejudice Inspired Science Fiction, Satan Burger…

Although I’m sure that knowing how to suture yourself would come in handy at some point in life. Maybe after an argument with Sister Fierce?

Satan Burger… Ha!

Some of the best book titles I have seen:

2195289495311472759744064617069040546677162992943370165 x 140

KinsChad this one I put in special for you.
KinsChad this one I put in special for you.
And it was sheer coincidence, ironic nonetheless, that  The Help came in after the poo book...
And it was sheer coincidence, ironic nonetheless, that The Help came in after the poo book…

This has been a fun post, because I got to browse through books. It’s also taken me three times as long because of it. I get distracted easily.


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