Father’s day zombie apocalypse


My Father’s Day blurb is late coming, but I was too busy spending time with my Dad to write about him. Lay off with the guilt trip guys, sheesh!

You all know my father as Mr. Green, a name I gave him for this blog because I was being silly. I have written about his passion for landscaping and plants and such things before. He talks to his plants more than he does me. Never thought I would be jealous of a Princess Diana rose. I meant to take some pictures of his yard and post them here, but those will have to come later because I obviously forgot. It’s a flower wonderland. You would have been impressed. You will be impressed.

I’m already failing at this post.

Mr. Green spent his Father’s Day sitting on his back porch with Danny…:

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… right by his side and his children. I believe Mr. Green wonders if he can still put any of us up for adoption. Excluding Danny of course, he would never part with that dog. Even if he does have a chronic ear infection that drives us all nuts.

Mr. Green got undershirts from yours truly. How unimpressive is that? White, v-neck, Hanes undershirts. It was Crazy Lady’s suggestion. Now Mr. Green will be thinking of me when sweating through his undershirts. Awesome.

If a zombie apocalypse ever happened Mr. Green would be the first person I would track down and hide behind. He would be the one to keep us alive… for at least a few days.

Oh Katelyn, a zombie apocalypse? Really? That is so “un-Christian-like” of you…

Oh people, I don’t believe it could actually happen, or do I? I don’t… maybe. Regardless, you can’t tell me it has never crossed your mind before what you would do if it did ever happen. Or maybe it really is just me? It’s like asking yourself what you would do if the plane you were in crashed, if you got lost in the woods (hug a tree and blow a whistle, I can thank Barney for that one), if your house caught on fire, or if the human race developed a strange disease that turned their brain to mush and made them feed off each other. See, same type of thing.

I am finishing up the book ‘Warm Bodies’ by Isaac Marion. A movie was made from it, you probably saw the previews. It is about a zombie by the name of R. Well, his real name isn’t R, but he can’t remember his real name, just that it began with the “Rrrr,” sound. Everything is from his perspective, and it is hilarious. Obviously in this case the zombies aren’t completely evil, and soulless. They begin to change when they see love. Interesting thought, huh? I would suggest it to anyone who has a sense of humor.

I would not team up with Sister Silent during a zombie apocalypse. That would be a stupid move. She has a delayed response to noises, doesn’t like to run, and freezes when scared. She’d be the first to go.

Crazy Lady would not be able to hurt a zombie, even if they were trying to eat her, plus she would be too worried about getting all her mementos stored in a safe place. She would be the second one to go, probably caught in her garage rifling through our baby boxes, gathering what she could.

I would be next. But I would not be eaten, I would be turned. I know I should make myself be all heroic and fighting till the end, but I know better. I would make some lame move like tripping, getting caught on a fence, or not watching where I’m going and running into a tree… not that I have done that before. OR I would self-sacrifice myself for The Neph… but only The Neph, no one else.

Brother Serious would have a good run. He would have no problem knocking zombies out left and right, he would turn into Rambo so fast, the young one not the old one. He would even adopt the bandana, I am sure of it.

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Pretty sure Sylvester Stallone has more man crushes than woman crushes…

Brother Serious would eventually meet his demise because he would get too sure of himself and be overrun by zombies. He most likely would be the one that tries to make the special rescue mission, save whomever it is he is saving (probably some girls), and then get chomped up.

Mr. Green would eventually need to go check on his flowers and grass, the world might be coming to an end, but by God his flowers will thrive long after everything else. He would get sprung on by a zombie. It would be a heated battle, Mr. Green would put up a good fight, maybe even kill the zombie, but not before getting a few bites taken out of him.

Sister Fierce would survive, but only because the zombies would be intimidated by her.

This is what I was figuring out on Father’s Day when sitting on the back patio with Mr. Green, all while playing a game of Tetris on my phone and listening to everyone else talk away. The thing is if I had spoken my thoughts aloud it would have turned into a real conversation. Just another reason why I love my family.

Sister Silent is going to be real mad I killed her off first… this will cheer her up:

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Next thing on my list:

zombie-home-apocalypse

Dang…

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