What I know about sports


I had dying bananas so I decided to mush them and make banana/oatmeal/chocolate chip cookies. (I put as much as I possibly can in my cookies.) I then took them to my parents house so that I wouldn’t eat them all. Brother Serious made the comment to my mom, “Why doesn’t Katelyn ever bring cookies to my place?” So then Crazy Lady tells me the other night, “You should probably make your brother some cookies soon and take them to his house.”

She was dead serious. I should stop everything and make him some cookies.

“Oh of course! I’ll just whip some up tonight for the dear little boy and deliver them in a hand basket.”

Crazy Lady was just being crazy again. She does that sometimes. Further proof that he is the favorite child.

Guess what I’ll be buying this weekend?

*Hangs head in shame* Cookie ingredients.

– – – –

It is opening weekend for baseball and The Neph will be marching with his t-ball team in the parade tomorrow morning. I am sacrificing the one morning I get to sleep in to be there. I will stand on the sidewalk and wait for him to walk by then shout his name, throw in a, “Woo woo!” He will smile and wave back, or ignore me completely. And then that will be that.

He has his first game tomorrow as well. There is nothing cuter, or funnier, than watching a bunch of five year olds trying to hit and throw balls. They run around those bases with no clue what is really happening. There are meltdowns galore, because playing a 45 min. game is a lot to ask for from their tiny little selves. If the parents weren’t there to shout what needed to happen it would just be one big bat throwing competition. “How high can you get it up in the air guys?”

I never played t-ball, my parents put me in Summer soccer. That’s a little less exciting to watch because it’s just one large mass of small children chasing after the same ball up and down the field, and usually the same child that is kicking it over and over. It gets boring real quick. But I thought I was hot stuff when I was playing, and the Capri Suns and Chewy bars afterwards weren’t too bad either.

I have just never been much of a sports person. I know the bare minimum. But set the complete works of Shakespeare or Arthur Conan Doyle in front of me and I would bring my A-game.

Things I know about Basketball:

– You get points when the ball goes through the hoop. The more swoosh you get the cooler it is.

– You can’t carry the ball while running, that’s called traveling guys.

– Sometimes you get a free throw, but I’m not sure when… I think it’s if someone on the other team plays wrong? Foul!

– Learn to tolerate the sound of shoes squeaking. It’s a Chinese torture method to weed out the true Basketball fans.

– You are timed.

Things I know about Football:

– There are touchdowns and field goals.

– You are always trying to gain yardage.

– There is a guy whose job it is to only kick the ball. I believe he is called the kicker.

– There is a quarter back, a running back, and linemen.

– You try to stop the person who has the football by all jumping on top of him at the same time.

– It’s okay to stop the clock every five seconds.

– There are lots, and lots of games. Lots of them.

Things I know about Soccer:

– You get points by making a goal.

– You make a goal by kicking the soccer ball into the… goal.

– You try to steal the ball from the other team. Pretty much like every other sport.

– There is a goalie, defenders, and forwards.

– You wear shin guards so you don’t get kicked in the shin.

Things I know about Golf:

…..

…..

Things I know about Baseball:

– If you run all the bases, and get back to home base, that’s a home run.

– You have three tries to hit the ball with the bat. I think. That may just be t-ball!

– You touch someone with the ball while they are running between bases and you can get them out.

– There’s an outfield.

– There might be a chance that angels come to help you play.

And that is Katelyn’s guide to playing sports. Have a very sunny weekend guys!

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3 thoughts on “What I know about sports

  1. Katelyn, don’t you at least know in Golf that you yell “four!” when you hit the ball. I’m not sure why this is yelled, I just know you’re supposed to do it. 😀

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