What facebook has taught me

Facebook. Dun, dun, dun… *serious face*

Facebook makes my teeth hurt, yet I cannot stay away from the darn thing.

This is what I have learned about Facebook…

Many use the site to blast insults toward other people, organizations, businesses, and whatever else causes them to bristle. Apparently they do not have the gall to say such things in person or over the phone. What bothers me about this is I feel  I am somehow dragged into the drama it stirs, clearly as an innocent bystander. Just hanging out here on the sidelines of Facebook peeps, I have no beef. Let’s all be friends and love each other, yeah? 

Remember my post around Thanksgiving where I said that I felt severely lacking in life due to people’s “I’m thankful for…” posts? (See here) (I had to scroll through all my posts to find that one because I forgot what I titled it… man, I have written a lot.) People use Facebook to share with others all the fun and exciting things they are doing. Then you have people like me who sit and read through all those updates and realize how boring and poor I am. Vacations to Hawaii, to California, to New York, to other countries, say what!, are plastered with pictures all over my news feed. Lameness all around people. I can’t even afford to go up to the mountains, and I live in the mountains! Oh don’t mind me, I’m just going to pour over every picture you upload, vicariously living through your luxurious life. You suck.

Facebook is a place where people come together to show love and appreciation and…. to argue. I’m not sure how many posts I read a day where someone is rebutting someone else’s status update. I really enjoy the ones where they think they are being sly by omitting names… actually no, no I don’t. Those are annoying. I cannot be alone in this, can I? There is nothing worse than reading a status like this, “I cannot believe the nerve! Way to just ruin my life you jerk!” WHO!? Who is the jerk!!?? I want to know!! I mean obviously they are trying to poke at the person but I can guarantee that the other party probably didn’t even see it… however, the other of your 350 friends did… I normally hide users when they do such things. It turns into a pattern it seems. Why do people do this? For attention obviously. They like to get some Facebook love and support to make their anger more righteous and not petty.

Pokes. What is the point? Poking wars. Do people really just sit at their computer clicking the “poke icon” as many times as possible? Don’t they have better things to do? Go stalk people’s pages like normal Facebook users!

poke-icone-6198-96 Stop the poking.

What I really enjoy is getting a cup of coffee and sitting down to read the world’s longest Facebook statuses. I have decided that if I have to scroll through it then I won’t read it. UNLESS it’s written by someone I love dearly, or it’s an interesting article. Even then I still won’t read all of it, I skim. I’m a skimmer. I think people have a hard time finding the point of their postings… So the other day was sunny, but a tad windy, it was a cold wind, it reminded me of when I was five and I was standing outside in a cold wind.. so then I walked outside in the sun, and let it shine upon my face, it was warm. I stood there and thought about all the WONDERFUL things I could do, and take pictures of, and how I could frolic and play in the open fields. How WONDERFUL and EXCITING life is, life is so exciting and wonderful, isn’t it???? I mean think of all the cool things we gets to DO and SEE and BE. Life is glorious, I am glorious in life! The sun’s ray are like my swords of strength, they energize me to take steps out my front door and into LIFE!!!!! Then I got my nails done, and I put little suns on them. 

… I forgot to mention that these long posts always seem riddled with excessive punctuation marks and unnecessary capped words.

There are those who think they are hilarious. Those people simply have their statuses ‘liked’. When you have a post and it’s only ‘liked’ watch out, you are probably boring like me. Those are sympathy likes my friends. Many of my blog posts get those…

Moving on.

The Facebook world is like the real world… but heightened on every level. People talk to other people that they would never speak with in public. Vice versa, people who try to make their reputation on Facebook look amazing will neglect to hit that confirm button on a friend request. You have some people who every post is some political statement, and others who every post is talking about some new and wonderful charity they just did. I just paid for someone’s coffee! That good deed was just wasted. Or: People are evil! The government is evil!! I hate our government and you should too! EVIL!  

This is my favorite thing I have learned so far: Facebook helps you discover who is as smart as they seem to be, and who is not. By reading someone’s Facebook statuses you quickly find out those who put on a show, and those who truly are nerds.  Because I am an English major people assume that goes together with being a grammar Nazi… this is going to be true in the case of The English Language vs. Facebook Users. There is a thing called spellcheck, this is now automatically built into computers, phones, and whatever else you may be sending your Facebook status from, this gives you absolutely no excuse to make horrible spelling errors in your posts. However, spellcheck does not catch the following homonyms: bored vs. board, loose vs. lose, your vs. you’re, their vs. there vs. they’re, ball vs. bawl, bare vs. bear, blew vs. blue, buy vs. bye, carrot vs. karat, fair vs. fare, etc., etc. I could go on and on. I feel this is something that most everyone should know; you sound intelligent when you type intelligent. My sister is busy teaching her third grade class homonyms. Should I emphasize the third grade part?

This leads pretty nicely into the problem we have of people and their use of abbreviations… which I cannot stand. It started with text, and now it has transitioned into Facebook. What cracks me up the most though are those statuses that are super long, and the postee takes the time to spell out every word except for “you’re/your” and “to.” For example: Reality hits, like when ur walking through ur house and realize it’s 2 late 2 clean up the mess your kids made before ur friends come over 2 have dinner. 

It just doesn’t make sense 2 me. Ur omitting 2 letters from the word “your.” Does it really make it that much easier 4 u? Meh, I guess I can c y ppl do it.

Okay I’m done with that.

It kills me not to spell out the word.

Oh Facebook, Facebook… what would I do without you? I would probably like more people for one, and see way less pictures of kittens and puppies doing “funny” shenanigans. Although, I would sorely miss Grumpy Cat pictures, he gets me.


I’m going to go share this blog post now on Facebook. TTYL!


3 thoughts on “What facebook has taught me

  1. Oh my gosh. I just vented THIS EXACT THING yesterday to my roommates. They were making fun of me for how worked up I was getting when one of my friends (I unfriended him, I’m that shallow) kept saying “ur” and “n” instead of “and.” I mean really?!

    1. I have unfriended people too because of it!! Haha, it’s crazy how much it gets under my skin. I think you and I have talked about this but when it was concerning text messages!

  2. I’ve discovered Facebook is much more enjoyable when you whittle it down to its core. I catch up with people, we organize events like a b-day party I’m going to tonight, my sister-in-law showed me an article I was looking for…you know, Social Media stuff. But when you add in the games, the ridiculous apps, and ESPECIALLY the poking, it becomes a ridiculous war to keep up with the internet world.
    I post as few statues as possible, nothing but blog posts, important updates (Cut off my leg, put it in ice, watching TV now), and things that make people laugh. I realized a long time ago that if i’m not remotely interested in everybody’s every thought, they’re not interested in mine. And I’m cool with that.

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