How i found out i was loved.


I am in love with this band. This happens to me quite often. I discover someone, some sound, some album that clicks with me deep down and I become obsessed. It is like my soul is ravenous and I cannot satisfy it. Sounds kind of pretentious but that is the only way I can describe it. I devour it, lyrics, notes, rhythm, all of it.

The band’s name is The Head and the Heart.

I wish I was on that boat with them right now. They originate from Seattle, WA, so maybe it’s just my “Northwesterner” coming out. They are amazing! I have recommended them in my Reviews and Such page, as well as attached a link to one of their videos in a previous post. So if you are curious…

Really I did not want to write about the band, they are a lead into my actual topic. I was listening to their song, “Lost In My Mind,” the other day in my car on my way over to the Parental’s home and one of the lyrics stuck out to me:

Mama once told me,

You’re already home where you feel loved

So simple, right? Something odd happened to me though, I was flooded with this overwhelming sense of…. happiness. Yeah, that was it, I was happy. Because in that moment where I was singing along to the words, all the faces of everyone who care about me flashed through my mind, and it was quite the montage. My heart grew three sizes that day…

A few months ago I had my eyes opened to how many people I have in my life who care about me, genuinely care about me. Perhaps it is such a crazy concept to me because of the selfish generation that I have grown up in, sadly many people my age, and younger, expect for others to just bend over and help them out whenever they need it. I think that is a ridiculous attitude to have, they need spankings or time outs.

I do not normally talk about my dating life because, well… it is pretty nonexistent. But for the sake of shedding light on this revelation of mine I feel I need to. Ugh, so here is a tiny glimpse…

I met a man about midway through July (2012), he was stationed more than five hours away at an Airforce base. Yes, Airforce. At first I thought he was a Maverik but he ended up being more of a Goose without the tragic ending. When we had planned for his first visit here I obviously had a list of people I wanted/needed him to meet. What I did not realize was that list was going to grow longer and longer as the days leading up to his visit got less and less.

I am a pretty private person, I know that seems contradictory as I am blogging rather publicly about my life, but for the most part I do not openly discuss changes (such as budding relationships) with others.  In this case however, I felt different enough about this that I was comfortable sharing with those “others” what was taking place, and the minute I did I found myself faced with a lot of protective responses mostly ending in, “Well, I need to meet this guy.”

I was honestly taken by surprise by how many people cared about my well-being. It was truly flattering, and humbling. Mostly humbling to know that so many people consider me to be part of their family. Little ‘ol obnoxious me.

Unfortunately Goose hit the road shortly after that visit, but my eyes had been opened to how much love surrounds me. And I didn’t even have to go out and search for it.

This small (somewhat hickish) town is not just my home because I was raised here, it is my home because I am loved here.

So sappy! But true. I’m so sweet I’m making myself sick…

I consider myself to be a very lucky person. And why I am being so sweet I would like to shout out to all my family and friends a big thank you for all your love and support! I would be so lost without you all. Your acceptance of my slightly neurotic, hilariously teasing, strange self is so greatly appreciated. If I could awkwardly hug you all I would! I will go and awkwardly hug Crazy Lady instead. She’ll appreciate that…. probably not. I’m doing it anyway.

awkward hugs

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8 thoughts on “How i found out i was loved.

  1. It is so great to have that realization that you are cared for by many and not on your own or “forgotten”. Your Maverik is out there Katelyn!

  2. FYI. I saw The Head and The Heart live in Boise at a really small venue last year and they freakin’ rocked! So close you could smell them….everyone was very sweaty…

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