Be honest


I have been told that even though my readers enjoy posts about my bed, hair, and pet peeves, that I am needing to write about something of a more serious nature. I will try to contain my outbursts of humor, but I am just so darn funny I’m not sure it’s possible. And as for the randomness, I’ll keep it as reigned in as my wandering mind allows.

Honesty.

Merriam-Webster defines honesty as: fairness and straightforwardness of conduct. Spot on MW, spot on.

I have always wanted others to feel comfortable enough with me that they can be honest. I like to have things laid out and explained for me, and the majority of the time I can understand where a person is coming from, or why they are feeling the way they are, when they do just that. I like straightforwardness. What I do not appreciate is dishonesty. Or a manipulation of the truth. That to me is cowardly.

I have surprisingly been the victim of dishonesty quite a bit in my short life span. And no, I am not including the times where I was told the tooth fairy was real, that the ice cream truck only played music when it was out of ice cream, or that I was actually the child of the Schwan’s man. I have been duped quite a bit, and it’s never a fun feeling. I’m sure all of you out there have also experienced this in some way, it’s hurtful and hard to deal with. But those, friends, are not our battles to fight, they are God’s.

I feel that more often than not, people shy away from being straightforward because they don’t want it to be a bad reflection on them. Who wants to come off seeming like a jerkface? I personally have more respect for a person when they are honest and upfront with me. When someone is telling me something just to make me happy I can tell, and that’s just disappointing… But when they are honest about the way they are feeling, or why they think a certain way, then I’m more apt to respect that even if I do disagree. Be honest people, I want to respect you, I really do.

I have a friend, we shall call her Mod, who may be the most honest person I know. The very first time I met her we elected to make a late night mad-dash to Safeway together to buy chips and salsa (like normal college students), we listened to the Trans-Siberian Orchestra in the car, and then returned to the lair of a mutual friend where Batman was the main topic of conversation and we both discovered we like to laugh loud. Six years later I think she may be one of the few people who can see right through me. Mod is not scared of speaking her mind, or telling things as they are. She has always been very honest in how she feels, in her opinions, and with what she wants. I admire her so much because of this. She has this somewhat creepy ability to strip a person down and see them for who they really are despite all the layers of carefully crafted personas. I think what I love most about being her friend is that I don’t ever feel as if I need to apologize for the way I think or feel, she wouldn’t allow room for an apology even if I did make one. Because she is so honest with who she is, it allows for others to do the same with her.

Honesty.

It’s hard to find honesty in a world that is ridden with sin, isn’t it? It sometimes feels like it is a lost cause, a dying flame. I am so dramatic. But honestly (yeah I know, lame play on words), the world has almost taught us that the way to get anywhere in life is to lie and manipulate whenever we can. Society tells us that we don’t measure up to standards by being just how we are. We conform ourselves to the mass majority in hopes that we’ll stand out to others and be noticed, but really we’re just being swallowed up by the machine. We are churned out to resemble everyone else. Dozens of Ken’s and Barbie’s milling around the Earth… some of us are lucky enough to actually resemble that metaphor, I’m more like Barbie’s frizzed-out cousin Betty.

Romans says to not conform to the ways of this world. (12:2) I’ve got a lesson for you, something I actually researched and found to be interesting. The word used for world in that scripture is not the usual kosmos but aion which means ‘age.’ Aion is all that exists in the world under the condition of that particular time. It encompasses all the thoughts, aspirations, opinions, speculations, etc. When Paul instructs not to conform to the world, he’s meaning to society. Don’t listen to the TV commercials, the magazine covers, and what the cast of Jersey Shore has to say. I, for one, would look ridiculous with that tan of skin and a bees nest on my head. The rest of the scripture says to transform yourself by the renewing of your mind. Changing your thoughts about yourself, and others, that is what will help restore this facet of morality.  Ultimately you start looking through the eyes of God, and who is more honest than Him?

I have found that I’m the happiest when I’m the most honest with my life. Things may not always be sunshine and sparkles but if I recognize the trials for what they are, and am honest in how they are making me feel, then it is that much easier to turn to God and give it all to Him. Hiding certain things, or feelings, and tucking them away where I feel they are safe from even His watchful eye, only leads to a bigger headache. Flush it all out, kind of graphic, but seriously I’m in the process of doing just this and it is a lot healthier for me to let God take control of it all then to hold on to everything myself. When you hold onto something, you tend to start manipulating that “thing” to look vastly different than what it really does, in an attempt to justify why in fact you are still holding onto it. Wow, what a long and somewhat confusing sentence.

I’m following in Mod’s lead and living as honest a life as I can. If you made it to the end of this post, well firstly you really are dedicated to reading what I write – thank you for that, and secondly I hope  you’ll feel the need to do the same. You’ve been made to be an individual, don’t let the machine swallow you up.

*Exits soap box*

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