I’m like a chia pet

I was trying really hard to think of something interesting, original, and humorous to write on for this next post of mine, but I’m drawing one of those, “Uhhhh….” blanks. So instead I’m going to write about my hair. Yeah, my hair folks.

My hair is like a being of its own. After God breathed life into man, he breathed life into Katelyn’s hair.

Here it is somewhat tamed:

I have white teeth despite all the coffee that I drink. It’s a nice blessing.

And here it is untamed:

I’m missing an eye. Apparently it’s dangerous as well.

So basically there is no difference in whether I attempt to work on my hair, or  I don’t. I learned awhile ago to just let it do it’s thing. The curls remind me of tentacles, I feel like they are going to reach out and snatch people up.

My running joke is that my hair is like a chia pet, it just keeps growing throughout the day. It feeds on small children, and moisture in the air.

“Just add water.”

I used to straighten those locks every single day for years (like eight!). I HATE my curly hair, with a passion, if you didn’t catch that from the all caps. I am somehow the only one out of my insane family that got cursed with it. Not sure where it came from, what generations were skipped till it appeared in my tossed salad of a genetic code, but it’s all mine to deal with for the rest of my life. Fantastic.

I know I should be thankful that I wasn’t given limp, thin hair. Or partially wavy. Yet, I’m not. I’m not thankful, because those are all easy fixes. How do you fix curls?

Two things I will permanently have from owning curly hair:

1) A numb scalp. For reals, the years of brushing through tangles has done it in.

2) A clogged drain. I feel sorry for whoever I marry…

I get asked, a lot, what I use on my hair, and how I do it. It’s a science, finding the right products and combinations. So here’s a little look into my morning routine:

Step #1:


Step #2


Step #3

   (High heat, low setting.)

Step #4


When I have the extra cash I have all the first products on hand, but when I’m on a budget those second ones are the next best thing! Trust me I have tried everything under the sun, the most expensive Redken product to the cheapest Suave, and these are what I have found work best. For all you curly-haired freaks scroll to the bottom of this post and I’ll give you my coaching tips.

One thing I have found exceptionally strange is how women in the 65+ bracket go insane when they see curly hair. I haven’t quite figured it out yet, but when I’m at church and feel someone touching my hair I know it’s one of them. When they wind one of my curls around one of their fingers, I feel a little “creeped” out…

Here’s something that can get annoying:

“Does your hair naturally do that!?”

“No, I make it look this way on purpose.”

Also I shed like an animal. If I am around you for more than 10 minutes you will find one of my hairs on you. Marked by the curls. I’m sorry for this, but it cannot be helped, it’s part of the curse.

Babies love my hair. They grab it with their chubby little hands. Unlike the 65+ year olds, I don’t mind this in the least. I love babies. They can pull my hair out if they wanted to and I would still think they are adorable. I’m a sucker for little humans.

My hair, not me, is recognized around town. I went into a store the other day and there was a new salesperson working. She said to me, “Oh my gosh, I LOVE your hair!” The other girl who was training her commented, “Oh it’s you! I always remember you by your hair.” My hair is an attention hog. I have to put up with its obnoxious flamboyance.

To conclude let me just say this, please be kind to your curly-haired friends… every morning they’ve been through a battle. Plus all those curls they have to carry around are awful heavy.

~ – ~

Katelyn’s Tips For Curly Hair:

  •  Invest in a diffuser. I have given up on even letting my hair air-dry anymore, the diffuser is a God send!
  • To reduce frizz try to not mess with your hair as much as possible. Even when blow-drying do not play with it too much! You’ve been warned.
  • To go along with the above when drying your hair after a shower do not rub your towel like crazy through it, just simply squeeze the extra water out of the ends. And if you are going to wrap a towel around your head don’t let it sit up there for too long. If your hair is too dry when trying to put your product in it will frizz out even more.
  • Diffuse your hair upside down. This video will show you a good way of doing so, but I choose to not use gel like she does as the alcohol in it causes frizz in my particular curls. Here’s the video link.
  • Buy some curling spray – I didn’t show it but John Frieda makes some and it works wonders for halfway through the day when your hair starts to limp out. Also helps with those pesky sections that frizz out during styling.
  • Most people concentrate on conditioning the ends of their hair because that is what they feel is most damaged, but don’t forget to condition your roots too.
  • Product buildup will happen. My secret… baking soda and water. Wash your hair with this and it will help tremendously!
  • Don’t get your hopes up that your hair will look the same every day. That’s just being silly.


2 thoughts on “I’m like a chia pet

  1. Katelyn….you cracked me up…(but remember – I am one of those “almost” older women who would love to wrap one of your curls around my finger! ha ha….but – that’s just because I love you!….Susie

  2. I empathize. SOOOO much. I’ve literally ruled out places for grad school based on the humidity level. The new fructis Morracaan oil is really good, and I’m a big fan of the Pantene Scrunch spray gel too.

    Also, I like to say that I look like a giant q-tip 🙂


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