I kid you not


I never believed in Santa Claus.

I remember going to a friend’s house when I was in the fourth grade and having her tell me all about this little elf that would visit her family and leave small presents all throughout the month of December. He was a messenger for Santa, she said. He watched them during the days and reported to him at night, she said. I thought she was crazy, and immature for believing such outlandish tales.

I was the child that blurted to everyone else on the playground that Santa did not exist. There was no such thing. “It’s just your mom’s people!” And why I was at it I cracked the precious beliefs of the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny as well. They needed to grow up.

My parents never made a point to play into Kris Kringle much. They’d throw out the occasional, “You better be good or Santa might not bring any gifts this year…” but I knew better. We did have pictures taken with Santa Claus, the Crazy Lady (my mother) loves her some Christmas and didn’t deprive us of that little tradition. However, I always found it somewhat weird that there are multiple men, strangers, dressed up in red suits that will forever plague our photo albums.

He comes down the chimney into your house. That’s not startling at all…

I mean, I suppose there is some charm behind these men… sure, let them hold your children and come into your home…

I especially enjoy that last one. But this is by far my favorite:

Again, charming.

I adore Christmas movies though. These are two that have been repeatedly playing in my home:

 

It’s by complete coincidence that Jim Carrey is the lead in both.

And props to whomever picked up on the irony of my humor here.

Anyhow who am I to judge whether people believe in Saint Nick or not? After all this is coming from someone who was raised not to open their Christmas presents until it was noon and everyone had showered and eaten breakfast. Then, and only then, could we start unwrapping… but only one gift at a time, in a circle, from youngest child to oldest. I like to stretch out Christmas, Crazy Lady says.

Here you are people, enjoy this classic: You’re A Mean One.

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