I have noticed something odd in my small town these past couple weeks. It’s beginning to really cause me some worry, or maybe just an obsessive curiosity, either way I feel that I need to inform you of this potential epidemic that’s hitting the streets. Brace yourself.
There has been an excessive amount of old, white-haired ladies wearing bright red jackets. I’m not quite sure if it’s now a rule that when you reach the age of 75 that you must purchase a red zip-up, or if it’s a conspiracy here on the West Coast, either way with the cooler Fall weather it’s becoming a large-scale outbreak… and it’s freaking me out. It’s freaking me out people! They’re everywhere, trimming their hedges, raking leaves, walking their dogs, in the grocery store aisles, peering over the steering wheels of their old Buicks, I’ve even had them come through the coffee shop.
Why the color red? Why not blue, or gray? There is something about the white hair and red jacket combo that is just… startling. Are these women feeling as if they have gone unnoticed and are now attempting to boldly reinstate themselves in this world? Crazy Lady (my mother) believes that they wear red to bring some color to their faces, I’m not sold on this idea quite yet.
I have nothing against red jackets. As a matter of fact I would dearly love to own this one:
I swear to you now that you are aware you will see them too. Check behind the bushes I saw one hiding in some the other day…