Ever have those moments where you wish you could rewind time by one minute and not drop the soda can on the gravel? Or spill that person’s scalding hot coffee all over your sandaled feet? How about not hitting your nephew’s head against a chandelier?
I am a confessed klutz. Lest you enjoy possibly being hit, stepped on, jabbed, or have a liquid spilled on you, stay away from me. I should, for the safety of others, wrap myself in yellow caution tape every day.
Today at work I managed to drop one of our energy drink cans in the gravel while transporting things from our little shed to the coffee shop. The thing shot up in the air, twirled around several times, while dousing me in sticky soda from head to toe. Not only that but my car door was open and so my poor windshield, dashboard, steering wheel, and seats were sprayed with it as well. I think every bee and mosquito in a 500 yard radius swarmed over to check out my disaster. With an hour still left on shift I had to deal with crusty hair, clothes that smelled of too many processed ingredients, and skin that was being attacked by those disgusting blood-sucking insects, all the while pasting a smile on and praying to God that my customers didn’t catch a whiff of my stench.
Now given I was working off fumes, seeing as my body had refused to sleep the night before and I only got a max of three hours before waking up at 5 am to go watch the sunrise and brew some coffee for those crazy yard-saler’s who are much like those mosquitos I mentioned earlier… The point still remains though, that I somehow find myself in the craziest predicaments. I feel like Mr. Magoo at times, but I don’t get to drift blindly through the hazardous chaos I create. Instead, I spend the hottest afternoon we have had so far, trapped inside my little car, cleaning and shampooing.
Why do I share this? To make you smile. I have come to terms with my “klutzness,” and so all I can do now is just stand there and laugh along with whatever witnesses are present.
Want to see something awkward? This just goes to show you never know what you may find when doing a search.
Click on this: Captain Klutz